tonight some of our small community decided to gather and worship. I am constistently hesitant - I believe that I have some unhealthy pessimism when it comes to things like this. I worry that we might be silly or surfacy, but instead I found that God indeed delights in our small praise. I have been growing lately (what a vague phrase) - my relationship with Jesus is becoming something new and close. This seems to inevitably mean that all my relationships follow this One relationship. So when I come to worship with this group, I must be prepared to be as close and real and expectant and vulnerable with them as I am with the Lord. The fact is, they are the body of Christ, and I cannot construct a difference between my relationships with them and my relationship with Jesus. This is uncomfortable - it is more human than I desire to be, it is more Kingdom than I desire to be. What an interesting life that I am being called/dragged into. My friends here teach me, they teach individual solitary me about enjoying other's presence and learning about who others are. I hope, in faith, I will learn this.

jc